To the Girl I Saw Come Out

It seemed so natural for you to be sitting with your parents outside the diner, but after a few moments it was clear your nerves were ticking. You toyed with your mug, and napkin, and fork, and mug again. You bounced at every new topic, almost too eager to have something else to talk about. You indicated it, or at least, I was perceptive of it. I get nervous like that often – everyone does.

You took a breath and opened your mouth as if believing someone else would take the floor. When the only interruption was traffic you shut your mouth. Focusing intently as if to absorb strength from the Earth through your table you said, “There’s something I want to tell you…” you looked up, “I don’t want you to worry.” You didn’t expected the words to fall out, but they did.

You’d done this before, you’d been scared before, but those times were different. Your mom was stirred and told you to tell it fast, so you got to the point faster than ever before. “I don’t want you to think I was hiding this, but I had to be sure of myself first…” Your parents looked at you expectingly and you could have forged a lie to get out of it, but you chose the truth. “I’m gay.”

I felt tears form as the words, “That’s okay, that’s good,” “We love you no matter what,” “We’re proud of you,” met your ears.

It’s not just the parents. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you because I am you.

I have the most supportive and amazing friends and family that I could dream to have. It feels as if everyone says that at some point, and this is my time. When you juggle all possible responses to your coming out and receive love every time, you realize everything you have to be grateful for. I’m baffled by how lucky I am to be surrounded by the greatest humans on the planet, so I’d like to thank everyone who has given me the courage to be myself.

I’m not sure I’ve returned to my body yet. It feels like I’m still watching over that girl as she does the thing I’d been petrified of doing for months. I’ve lost an immense weight on my shoulders, however, I sit anticipating more. There’s still work to be done before equality is a true reality, but for now, I’ll continue to appreciate… love.

 

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